Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
