they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize