That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
