the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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