she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
