Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
