conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
