Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
