So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
