after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
