Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
