you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
