Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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