i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
