i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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