Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
