There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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