come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
