I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
