He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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