I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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