singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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