we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
