I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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