You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
