I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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