ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
