We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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