He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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