so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
