even my farts smell like vagina
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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