she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
