Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
