Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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