Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
