"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
