I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize