he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
