I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
