omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
