His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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