wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
