Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
