Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
