tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
