So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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