But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
