Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
