it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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