is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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