There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Randomize
