I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
PS: I just woke up from my shower
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
