it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
