Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
