Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
smell my finger.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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