so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize