Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
is it fun? or sober?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
