Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
