...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize