question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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