I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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