you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
