She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
