I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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