Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize