ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
