A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize